December is a strange time to be in the college. Now for six years I have known the school immersed in its annuals madness. For five years I have been a part of this chaos. December for me is synonymous with a few things. Accounts, cash in the pocket, bills, meetings, more meetings, building technology and mad work and the cold, the cold which resides in my chest and within the cavities of my head, below the skin on my face. It is a creature that weighs me down; make my head feel twice as heavy making it difficult to stay up nights and make all the things happen. Fighting this enemy has been yearly battle. The battle rages on two fronts, with the body and with the mind.
Memories of the December have left a scar which is yet to heal. A scar deep enough to make my head explode. Makes the blood vessels in my head expand, my eyes feel heavy and as though they are emitting steam, and my hands tremble sometime. The breath i take gets heavier and heavier, I can hear myself breathe !

I felt like punching the wall today!

I should not think so much. I should not let these memories anger me.

All I am worried about is, anger getting the better of me. Therefore I refrain from speech, let it boil within till it becomes calm again.
Angry me is what I am really afraid of. I think that is what renders me silent.