fear sets in
paranoia prevails
the surface now moist,
it is held back.

the face wiped,
over come by thought
the voice collapses
and the world disappears.
it is held back.

the veins dilate,
blood now gushes
hurts in the head
i wish my mind were dead.

fear sets in.
it makes its way
on to the spherical red
rolls down, into a free fall
on to the page i write.

what is in the mind is on the face.
i hate myself,
for i can affect others that way.
what was wiped off,
now reappears.

some days,
i know not anything
and i make no sense,
i utter no word.
introvert and cynical,
i wish i had a life.

i wonder what they see.

i knew i should not have,
why did i?
one leads to another,
i should not have.

i alone can be held responsible.