eye

2012-02-13T23:24:00.001+05:30

here is why one should/should not work in an office.

2012-02-13T23:23:00.001+05:30

duniyadari inc. has shut down.
so duniya, please go to bhaad.

2012-02-13T18:53:00.001+05:30

mumbai, a constellation between the sky and the sea.

2012-01-20T20:13:00.004+05:30

ever made that one error? of judgement?
or mistake?
that turns on you,
a mirror!
eye staring back at eye!
regret.

a reminder.
my monster.

december drawings 1

2012-01-14T22:26:00.004+05:30

december drawings 2

2012-01-14T22:21:00.001+05:30

more fragile than itself, is its reflection

autos? bees?

2011-12-30T09:44:00.002+05:30

wide eyes that stare
from beneath little black hoods,
tied by yellow waist bands.
they buzz around the city,
like a swarm?

the garden..

2011-12-25T11:25:00.001+05:30

..as she calls it.

2011-12-25T11:17:00.003+05:30

somedays when i look back at the five years spent in school, i feel, the institute did/does not like me.

2011-12-04T10:56:00.004+05:30

in a crematorium,
pyre burning below.
body disintegrates, burns,
turns to ash and smoke.
there is a peculiar smell.
it rises from what was once alive, escapes through the roof.
it deposits soot on the corrugated undersides.

the crematorium roof is a map of the human body?

i'll make a drawing.

2011-11-21T19:37:00.001+05:30

boom!

panchmura

2011-11-03T17:49:00.001+05:30

2011-11-02T22:16:00.000+05:30

frustrated with:

asking for what is rightfully yours, month after month. complacency.
6 months work going down the gutter, lack of clarity and patronisation.
interactions which are sermons, preachers with opinions on every breath of air that enters my nostrils.
being acknowledged only when there is use.
the pointlessly low telephone bill, month after month.
relations with family, some of which i have given up on.
reaching out.
living with the feeling of loneliness that sets in at times.

auto_piggy back

2011-10-02T10:07:00.002+05:30

2011-10-02T09:45:00.002+05:30

dreams are an awakening of parts of the mind where forgotten and suppressed thoughts reside.
they manifest themselves as interactions with the concerned in strange landscapes.
they bring to light what was on my mind.

2011-09-13T10:25:00.001+05:30

some days i will never forget.
take with me forever.
a birthday..
.. beauty, happiness, love.

'apu'

2011-09-08T22:04:00.000+05:30

in Malayalam means small!!

mindsapce garden

2011-09-07T12:00:00.001+05:30

2011-09-02T17:23:00.002+05:30

..is a necessary painful excretion.
an emptying of the construct.
even that which resides in forgotten crevices.
allowing to start anew.

ganesh chathuthi.2011

2011-09-02T17:09:00.004+05:30

auto

2011-08-31T18:52:00.000+05:30

02.

2011-08-29T15:23:00.002+05:30

01.

2011-08-26T21:37:00.003+05:30

2011-08-26T13:51:00.007+05:30

.. is a transparent inanimate occupation of space
where light filters through with the full knowledge of existence.
Rendered invisible, reflecting people and spaces.

borivli walk

2011-08-22T14:56:00.004+05:30

sky-walk and market

Perched on a metal deck
above the road rendered fluid by liquid crowd
flowing like a river
engulfing steel cans that hustle in and out.
There is an explosion of colour as we descend.
now immersed, from within we see the deck hanging above
above which clouds hang, painting the background.
Yellow blue plastic sheets take off from the ground
to compete with foliage of the trees.
Objects and bodies assemble and align themselves
to the organised chaos of the streets.

2011-08-14T18:31:00.003+05:30

cleaning up is discovering the past.
memories. forgotten things.
today, for instance i discovered my first pair of shoes. they have a story to tell.
i wore them only once. they did not fit my ever growing gigantic foot.
happy!

the sea

2011-08-11T14:30:00.002+05:30

04.08.11

2011-08-06T10:03:00.001+05:30

two monsoon evenings

2011-07-31T17:07:00.000+05:30

2011-07-31T17:01:00.000+05:30

the city reflected.

2011-07-31T16:43:00.005+05:30

monsoon transformations:

this cobbler at the junction of sv road and station road in kandivali sets up another shop. alongside soles hang umbrella handles of all shapes, sizes and colour. he sits outside his tarpaulin covered shoe repair space to repair umbrellas.

stitching fabric
correcting bent spokes
fixing buttons and broken handles
correcting malfunctions

the rains make him more than just a cobbler.

2011-07-27T22:10:00.000+05:30

2011-07-18T13:51:00.003+05:30

The earth calls out to the sky,
the sun beating down upon her.
She cries as water abandons her flesh through cracks in her skin.
The sky responds,
a storm gathers over her dusty body.
The clear blue you cannot see,
it is blocked by layers of blue and gray.
The clouds bleed drops, they fall.
Little drops of moisture,
they bear the image of the world they meet.
An army they descend on her skin
bringing relief from the heat.
Dust rises
her fragrance fills the air.
The sun tempted
peers from behind a cloud.
There were two rainbows in the sky that day.

2011-07-16T12:55:00.003+05:30

Yesterday, during an auto journey I came across two young boys yelling from the safety of their car. When they managed to catch the auto driver's attention, they told him, "Bhaiyya, tyre ghoom raha hai!"
I smiled. It reminded me of those long drives to Khandala during the monsoon long before there was the Expressway when four brothers did the same and died laughing! Their victims were mostly bicycle riders as they were very easily distracted.
I wanted to tell them, "Saalo se chali aa rahee hai!"
Somethings never get old.

2011-07-15T14:49:00.000+05:30

2011-07-15T11:26:00.000+05:30

2011-07-12T11:14:00.002+05:30

Georgie Porgie Dharavi boy
Cc drawing made him cry
When r&m came out to slay
Georgie Porgie ran away

(from the slaughterhouse chronicles, edited by deeksha)

2011-07-12T08:20:00.004+05:30

it is so bloody flawed,
so full of errors,
it is now officially a comedy!
woohoo!
my life...
inept.
sigh!

one day_early monsoon

2011-07-11T09:07:00.002+05:30

"Then take me disappearin’ through the smoke rings of my mind
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves
Let me forget about today until tomorrow."

- Bob Dylan

2011-07-10T15:26:00.007+05:30

fear sets in
paranoia prevails
the surface now moist,
it is held back.

the face wiped,
over come by thought
the voice collapses
and the world disappears.
it is held back.

the veins dilate,
blood now gushes
hurts in the head
i wish my mind were dead.

fear sets in.
it makes its way
on to the spherical red
rolls down, into a free fall
on to the page i write.

what is in the mind is on the face.
i hate myself,
for i can affect others that way.
what was wiped off,
now reappears.

some days,
i know not anything
and i make no sense,
i utter no word.
introvert and cynical,
i wish i had a life.

i wonder what they see.

i knew i should not have,
why did i?
one leads to another,
i should not have.

i alone can be held responsible.

2011-07-07T10:44:00.002+05:30

this week eye wrote:

"My long term goal is to evolve and set up an environment where academics, research and a fabrication workshop come together along with architectural work in the form of an office or a studio, either independently or as a collective of likeminded colleagues. "

2011-07-03T11:28:00.001+05:30

vajreshwari

2011-07-03T11:17:00.002+05:30

2011-06-26T12:48:00.001+05:30

2011-06-17T11:07:00.005+05:30

snapped a pencil into two exact halves.
i wish i could snap my head and mind like the pencil.

a pendulum swings aimlessly in between two extremes,
a simple harmonic motion.
i look around,
the spot on the ceiling is boring now.
emptiness encroaching onto the mind.
hollow, useless, boring and pointless.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

beautiful is the comforting warmth that comes from there and wraps itself around.
things i want to tell,
i don't know how and where to begin.
these be the happier day!

2011-06-13T12:13:00.001+05:30

2011-06-10T21:48:00.002+05:30

summer.

college in the rains

2011-06-10T08:56:00.002+05:30

town in rain

2011-06-08T13:01:00.002+05:30

LIBERTY - single screen/art deco/happiness

2011-06-07T16:12:00.000+05:30

2011-06-04T12:02:00.001+05:30

thoughts, feelings, emotions, dylan, tears, etc.

i should take these thoughts and feelings and stuff them elsewhere.
now, i hate this space!

2011-06-04T10:02:00.001+05:30

3:30
3:33
3:21
3:00
3:12
3:15
3:17.

why???

don't know what to do.

2011-06-03T21:53:00.003+05:30

(from a previous post)

"Magic is a phenomenon.
A phenomenon that transcends the everyday.

When your eye does not believe what is in front of it and your brain takes time to respond,
when your jaw drops and the feeling of extreme excitement takes over making your hair stand, when emotions run high and you stand there, just stand,
not knowing what to do, a silent spectator to the display of a force unleashed.
That is magic!"

it rained yesterday. it was beautiful!

2011-06-03T19:36:00.001+05:30

2011-06-02T14:56:00.002+05:30

n e r v e s ...
are a constant settling and unsettling force within.
calming and tempestuous.
what to do?
is there anything to do?
uff!

sewri_mudflats & fort

2011-06-02T14:52:00.003+05:30

wadala - salt pans

2011-05-24T13:14:00.002+05:30

2011-05-21T21:08:00.001+05:30

nervous nervous nervous

2011-05-17T11:49:00.001+05:30

nervous wreck.
on edge.
the ground below is constantly reconstituting itself.
hope it settles soon.

2011-05-16T21:26:00.001+05:30

sigh!

110509_evening

2011-05-13T00:09:00.000+05:30

cloud in the night sky

110509

2011-05-12T23:58:00.000+05:30

trees_walks

2011-05-12T23:50:00.000+05:30

2011-05-05T11:02:00.008+05:30

atlas in the garden (of thoughts)

for sona.

2011-05-03T00:13:00.001+05:30

garden.

for sona.

last week

2011-05-01T11:03:00.001+05:30

wildlife in the city

2011-05-01T11:00:00.002+05:30

2011-04-30T23:05:00.000+05:30

tired. sigh.

kandarpada

2011-04-23T09:01:00.003+05:30

morning walk to kandarpada with sona.
water tank, old veined rock with the fossil remains of some plant form and a temple perched on top.
lovely morning.
fun!

2011-04-22T20:27:00.003+05:30

dear eye,

i wish i was ill.
it would be better than feeling ill, sick and uncomfortable on the inside.
some days i wish i could tell you what really goes on inside my head.
also,
keep this for future records, show it to me the next time i complaint:

note to self:
do not look forward to anything in your life.

and do not dare call this angst, etc. based on your stupid assumptions.

thanks.

Apurva P.

2011-04-20T19:53:00.005+05:30

one look and i find hope.
one look and i find all the joy in the world.
one look and i find inspiration.
one look and i find courage.
one look and i find comfort.
one look and i find the world.
one look and receive love.

one look and my heart sinks.

one look shatters the insides.
one look and tears flow.
one look and my mouth is sealed.
one look and i could die.

angel mine.

Furniture.

2011-04-16T22:30:00.002+05:30

Inanimate objects, emotionless.

The occupy space

provide for occupation of space.

Upholstered, re-upholstered, polished, repaired, and made to look pretty.

Provides and accommodates.

Comforting.

Expected to be ambitionless.

Used and abused, dusted and preserved, largely speechless.

Shrieks when damaged, only to be repaired.

Upholstered, re-upholstered, polished, repaired, and made to look pretty.

I feel like furniture these days.

2011-04-14T15:44:00.002+05:30

frightening!
there is a feeling in the hollows of my chest.
in the pit of my stomach.
comes and goes.
i wake up with it, in the morning, in the middle of the night.
i can hear my heart pounding, echoes.
i trust this feeling. instinct, maybe.
it sets in over a long time, discomfort.
stays till i discover why it has been there.
then, disappears.
i worry about things, about friends these days.
the feeling comes from tither, that part of the brain.
or, so i think.

nursery rhyme

2011-04-14T15:03:00.002+05:30

Little Bo Peep,
she killed all her sheep,
ran over them in a jeep,

she picked the dead few,
and cooked them with stew,
and served it all up to you.

(last line added by deeksha)

morning auto

2011-04-13T08:26:00.001+05:30

2011-04-04T00:56:00.004+05:30

Sona and Ari.
Big Love!

angel mine

2011-04-03T11:55:00.001+05:30

2011-04-02T14:04:00.005+05:30

for sona,

2011-04-02T10:20:00.000+05:30

auto_6_20.03.2011

2011-03-30T19:49:00.002+05:30

2011-03-28T13:03:00.001+05:30

2011-03-27T16:31:00.004+05:30

volcano
thunder cloud/ dark cloud
shy
angry
egoistic
cynical
sarcastic
boy
man
anti-social
cute
human
nice
clear
etc.

recently, depressed, dukhi.
"Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behaviour, feelings and physical well-being. It may include feelings of sadness, anxiety, emptiness, hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt, irritability, or restlessness. Depressed people may lose interest in activities that once were pleasurable. Insomnia or excessive sleeping, fatigue, loss of energy, or aches, pains or digestive problems that are resistant to treatment may be present."

am i depressed? why?

if there is some "nice(r)" person there, i would like to know how kind life has been to him/her. how has being nice benefited him/her in life?

feel free to add onto the list of adjectives.

2011-03-25T14:35:00.001+05:30

My feet sink into the sand as a stand on a constantly shifting landscape which is shaped and re-shaped by the waves and the tide. It rises from the sea midway between the fort and the village. the city does not stake claim here. The sun shines through the white clouds which hang suspended like a tattered white fabric against the bright blue sky. The rays filter through it and descend upon the earth and greet the city that stands on it.

2011-03-20T22:11:00.004+05:30

they gather from somewhere inside.
assault the head.
mute the voice.
seize the smile.
wipe the face.
empty the eyes.
hollow out where they reside.
discomfort!

what am i supposed to do with them?

vesave

2011-03-20T12:08:00.003+05:30

2011-03-19T21:08:00.000+05:30

2011-03-16T16:29:00.001+05:30

2011-03-12T11:43:00.006+05:30

My blue 2mm clutch pencil.
It is topped with a pair of electric blades.
Blades for shaving.
Sharp and precise.
They tie me to my chair, hold a mirror in font of my face.
They skin my face with the beard and moustache as I watch.
It is my fucking pencil you arseholes!
It is meant for drawing!
The pain is unbearable.

I wake up.
Feel my face.

If the world just leaves me alone, I can get some sleep at night!

beach

2011-03-11T22:37:00.003+05:30

2011-03-10T12:23:00.002+05:30

Someday I'll fly

Someday I'll soar

One day I will be so damn much more

Cause I'm bigger than my body . . .

2011-03-08T19:53:00.002+05:30

it took three months of looking.
sometimes alone, mostly with sona along.
very frustrating.
cynical i had become.
today,
out of the blue,
i found...

my sole mate.

2011-03-07T20:12:00.004+05:30

I stare down a hole drilled in the exact center of my forehead. it is an inch wide and four or five inches deep.
They drilled it through the skull and into the brain.

The pain is unbearable.
I wake up and check my forehead for the hole.
Bad dream.
But the pain was real.

I am afraid of falling asleep these days.

2011-03-07T19:51:00.003+05:30

The Ambassador UFO hovering above Churchgate.

The Trident cast its shadow on the monsoon cloud hovering above it.

The city gets more gorgeous each time you look .
In the right places.

These two images I found hiding, while browsing through gigabytes of old images.

byculla, jj flyover

2011-03-05T20:36:00.003+05:30

the crow

2011-03-04T09:38:00.000+05:30

It began with my eyes which first made contact with that text, followed by the finger nails and the skin beneath. The capillaries in my finger tips turned black as they too make contact with that text.

Black traced the route to the heart through the veins and arteries.

Black travelled to the brain.

The face wore a black smirk which broke into an evil grin.

morning-giantess-city

2011-03-03T12:20:00.005+05:30

It is four in the morning. I can see her, the city herself in deep slumber. She sleeps with peace on her face, her hair flowing freely in the wind and her eye lids are sealed shut. She is wrapped in a sheet black as the night. Her body lies still apart from the movements that give life and her pulse is normal .
As day break approaches, her sheet begins to fade, loses its colour to reveal her body, a denser fabric itself. The sky turns deep blue-gray, as the first solar rays caress her body. Blood now flows through her veins and the organs are now functioning. Her body is busy. She opens her eyes, she now awakens and rises from her sleep.

Naked, beautiful and alive!

2011-03-02T21:59:00.001+05:30

feeling out of place in a known crowd.

auto_5_02.03.2011

2011-03-02T12:40:00.001+05:30

auto_4_25.02.2011

2011-02-26T16:29:00.001+05:30

Sea City

2011-02-25T22:37:00.003+05:30

Bombay meets the sea in varying landscapes, some natural and others constructed. The city meets the sea in promenades, beaches, gaothans, ports, industries and mudflats. Travel nodes, points of arrival and departure are embedded within these landscapes.

These are not merely edge conditions, they are manifestations of the desires of a city by the sea.

(writing has become tough again! uff!)

eye